4,000 Orphans & Counting

© Photographer: Studio | Agency: Dreamstime.com
"4,000 quake orphans so far, China says
Large number of missing may push orphan number higher, official says"

China is the top source of foreign adopted children in the United States, and many Americans have already contacted adoption agencies about earthquake orphans.

However, "I think the Chinese government will start with domestic adoption first," said Joshua Zhong, the co-founder and president of the U.S.-based Chinese Children Adoption International.


It's so hard to watch the news and see the devastation in China. Lord, please continue to work miracles through the rescue teams and bring healing & hope to the people.

I saw an article about Chinese government is doing all they can to help reunite orphaned children with family members and deal with the intense shock and grief of losing their parents. The article even states that it is much too early to tell how many TRUE orphans are affected because of the continuing rescue and search efforts in the earthquake areas.

And THEN we have the Americans who are seemingly overwhelming International Adoption businesses with inquiries about adopting these newly suffering orphans. I'm sure the cutest, youngest babies and toddlers would be whipped out of the country first, if possible, into the homes of "waiting parents" and away from their existing lives, culture, reality, and shock. Of course, this tragedy eliminates even the threat of a pesky "burfmother" clouding the perceived future of newly formed Americanized families. We could change their names (as is usually done) and the young ones might possibly FORGET these unfortunate happenings. Unfortunately, through much debated opinions, international adoption is not THE answer for the children. It may seem to be the answer for "waiting parents" or it may APPEAR to be, at first. But only at first.


4,000 quake orphans so far, China says
Story Highlights
Large number of missing may push orphan number higher, official says

Adoptions won't begin until order restored to quake-hit region

Priority is to reunite families, government says

Editor's note: "China Earthquake: Ruins and Recovery," airs Friday, May 23 at 11 a.m. GMT on CNN International.

MIANYANG, China (AP) -- Last week's deadly earthquake in China has created more than 4,000 orphans, a Chinese official said.

But Chen Kefu, the deputy director for civil affairs in hard-hit Sichuan province, warned at a news conference Wednesday that it will take time to determine the real number of parentless children because of the large number of people still missing and displaced.

The May 12 quake has killed more than 41,000 people and left more than 5 million homeless.

Thousands of Chinese have called government offices and posted their pleas online to adopt an orphan from the quake.

"Every day my ministry receives hundreds of calls," Jiang Li, China's vice minister of civil affairs, told a news conference Tuesday.

The earthquake also robbed many parents of their children, many of whom were killed when their schools collapsed. Chinese newspapers ran photos of piles of dusty bookbags and of small hands emerging from the rubble.

But officials say adoptions won't begin until the earthquake-affected area is brought under order. Until then, local governments will take care of the orphans.

"We've received many inquiries about adoptions, but at present it's simply too early since we're still in the rescue and recovery stage," said Wang Jun of the Chinese Foundation for Poverty Alleviation, who's handling orphan issues in the city of Deyang on the edge of the quake zone.

Officials are first scrambling to reunite children with family members. Newspapers have run children's photos and names, asking the public for help.

Posters with similar information has been posted at the sports stadium in the city of Mianyang, which has turned into a massive relief camp for thousands of survivors.

China is the top source of foreign adopted children in the United States, and many Americans have already contacted adoption agencies about earthquake orphans.

However, "I think the Chinese government will start with domestic adoption first," said Joshua Zhong, the co-founder and president of the U.S.-based Chinese Children Adoption International.
Copyright 2008 The Associated Press. All rights reserved.This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten, or redistributed.

All AboutChina • Sichuan Province • Wen Jiabao

Find this article at:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/WORLD/asiapcf/05/22/china.orphans.ap/index.html

"Stand Still"

© Photographer: Spanishalex | Agency: Dreamstime.com
"And Moses said unto the people, Fear not, stand still, and see the salvation of the LORD, which He will show to you today...." Exodus 14:13

Believe it or not, there really is a time to stand still -- to bring our physical body into a state of peace. Moses wanted the children of Israel to get out of fear and see the salvation that God was about to bring, but first he had to bring them to a place of rest. Suppose you have a small child who is afraid and is running around the yard in a panic. To help them get control of their emotions, you must not only calm their fear, you need to get them to stop running around and stand still so they can receive the next instruction. As long as they are running around the yard in fear, they will never be able to receive their deliverance.

Try this today. At some point in the day, simply stop what you are doing, bring your busyness to a standstill and commune with the Father. Stay long enough to see His salvation. Experience the exponential impact of bringing your whole spirit, soul and body into alignment with God. Many of you are gripped by fear, paralyzed by depression, riddled with guilt and see no way out. But there is. And it begins with stopping. Stopping your fear. Stopping the continuous motion or activity that keeps you from hearing the still, small voice of God.

And when you have come to a stop... when you have come to the end of yourself and you stand at the precipice of faith, open the eyes of your understanding and see His salvation. See the hope of his calling, the riches of the glory of his inheritance in you and the exceeding greatness of his power toward you who believe. Then lift up your rod (the Word of God) and declare with everything in you the outcome you know God has for you. Fully express with every fiber in your being what you know God wills for you. Then walk confidently into the future, trusting God to make a way where there appears to be none. This is not theory. I have walked this path and experienced His great deliverance and so can you!

Look to God. Change your self-talk. Declare a different outcome. Set a new expectancy. What have you got to lose? Now, what are you doing that is equivalent to running around the yard in fear? What action or movement is keeping you from coming to a place of self imposed rest so you can see the salvation God has for you? That's what you need to stop today. Selah.
(Author Unknown)

Kids or Kidneys?

© Photographer: Destinyvispro | Agency: Dreamstime.com
"....just as charitable organizations rely on private "gifts" from anonymous donors, parents who give the gift of adoption also have a reasonable right to remain anonymous."

I woke up this morning to find the article below in the Washington Post...still half-awake here, but appalled at the amazing disregard and obvious slant of the writer of this letter. Everything the person says is blatantly in disregard of the adult adoptee AND even the first family. Research has found that an overwhelming number of birth mothers DO NOT WANT CONFIDENTIALITY. They HAD NO CHOICE in most cases because "sealed records" laws were originally implemented to protect the newly formed adoptive family ~ NOT the birthmother. If a birthmother gives up a child for adoption, but for some reason the child is never adopted, but remains in foster care, for example, the child's birth certificate is NEVER sealed. The birthmother's "anonymity" is non-existant. State Supreme Courts have ruled that birthmothers are not promised perpetual anonymity under the law.

But even if it was the case, think about it for a moment ~ WHY should the 'right' of one adult be held in higher regard than the right of an adult adoptee and their children after them to know their IDENTITY? Adoptees are not perpetual children, yet we are regarded as such under the law.

I wrote the above two paragraphs reluctantly, because I didn't even want to waste my time reiterating what has already been written in the literature and supported by the Child Welfare League of America for years ~ unconditional open records for adult adoptees. But I wrote it, so I'll leave it.

The most LUDICROUS part of the letter in the Washington Post is the fact that adult adoptees are pretty much compared to a donated organ!!!!! What????? I couldn't believe what I read at first. But there is was.

We are the GIFT to "charitable" organizations made by 'anonymous' donors (birthmothers who don't ask for confidentiality, but are held to it by "sealed record" laws lobbied for by the 'charitable organizations' themselves ~ the adoption agencies, attorneys, and brokers who work on behalf of their customers ~ the adoptive parents who pay good money for their 'children').

This letter is SO OBVIOUS in revealing the true reason for "sealed records" ~ the GIFT of a child to "selfless" adoptive parents ~ selfless adoptive parents who remain on waiting lists for years to get the chance to pay entire life-savings for a "healthy infant" and yet bypass the thousands of foster children whose entire childhood waits. "Selfless" may not be the word I would use here.

So, I hate to break it to you, oh writer of the letter, but adult adoptees are HUMAN BEINGS ~ we aren't some body part that have no voice, rights, or pain, that can be "donated" to "charity" (a billion-dollar a year industry doesn't quite fit the definition for "charitable" anyway). Since when did infertility become a "charity" at the expense of human rights?

"The Anonymous Gift of Adoption"

© Photographer: Bsilvia | Agency: Dreamstime.com
"...just as charitable organizations rely on private "gifts" from anonymous donors, parents who give the gift of adoption also have a reasonable right to remain anonymous."

EDITORIAL: The anonymous gift of adoption
http://washingtontimes.com/article/20080519/EDITORIAL/220852332/1013/editorial

The anonymous gift of adoption

THE WASHINGTON TIMES EDITORIAL
May 19, 2008
It sounds like a dream come true for the tens of thousands of adoptees
in the U.S. -- the ability to find and reconnect with a birth parent or
parents. That was the case for Maine Sen. Paula Benoit, whose highly
publicized ordeal to find her birth parents not only led to meeting new
relatives ( at least three of whom are also ironically lawmakers) but
also to legislative action that changed the law in her state so that
other adult adoptees could do the same. Her efforts propelled and
initiated efforts in a handful of other states to move forward with similar
measures. But in the state of New Jersey, the measure has failed several
times -- and for good reason.

What Mrs. Benoit failed to consider in her identity quest is the
potentially detrimental effect that her law (and others like it) to unseal
birth records could have on parents who choose to privately put their
child up for adoption. It is estimated that there are about 1 million
children in the U.S. who live with adoptive parents and 2 to 4 percent of
American families include an adopted child. There are several kinds of
adoption arrangements that include open, closed (confidential), mediated
(non-identifying) and fully disclosed. While the majority of adoptions
(69 percent) are open, those who choose to take such a step
confidentially should have that option honored, not overturned.

Some adoptees cite medical and heredity reasons for tracking down birth
parents. And while that may be a legitimate concern in some cases, it
is not the norm. In a study of American adolescents, the Search
Institute found that the majority of adolescents simply wanted to know what
their parents "looked like" (94 percent) or "why" they were adopted (72
percent).

And, while openness can be a liberating experience for birth parent and
adoptee, it's not for everyone. Some birth mothers have started new
families and for personal reasons may not want their identity disclosed.
It should be up to them -- when and if they want to share this
information. Anything else is a clear invasion of privacy. Even adoption
advocates caution adoptees when seeking out a birth parent about the kind of
mistakes that happen when a random search goes awry. Search site
adoption.com warns: "Unfortunately, there have been cases of people
contacting ... birthparents claiming to be their ... child, or sibling when this
is not the case. Be aware that this can happen."

There are other not-so-obvious implications of taking away a birth
mother's request for confidentiality. In USA Today, Thomas Atwood,
president of the National Council for Adoption, surmised: "Birth mothers were
promised privacy, and if that promise is broken, fewer women will choose
adoption over abortion." Catholic groups have echoed this sentiment.

There are many famous adoptive parents -- Al Roker, Michelle Pfeiffer,
Sen. Kay Bailey Hutchison, Magic Johnson -- who are championed for
their selfless acts of love. There are also famous adoptees, including John
Lennon and Victoria Rowell, who are grateful for the loving homes they
were provided. But you don't often hear about the not so "famous"
birth parents, who for personal (likely hardship) reasons of their own
choose to place their children up for adoption in the hope that it will
provide them a better life.

Adoption is often referred to as a gift. And

.

It's not up to the recipient to find the donor.

The state of Michigan gives a confidential-adoption birth mother the
opportunity to submit her identifying information to the state at any
time, should she have a change of heart. Other states would do just as
well to leave this choice up to the birth mother.

Once Upon a Time....

© Photographer: Miknik | Agency: Dreamstime.com
Once upon a time the animals had a school.They had four subjects running,climbing,flying, and swimming-and all animals took all subjects.The duck was good at swimming, better than the teachers in fact.He made passing grades in running and flying,but he was almost hopeless in climbing. So they made him drop swimming to practice more climbing. Soon he was only average in swimming.But average is OK,and nobody worried much about it except the duck.The eagle was considered a troublemaker.In his climbing class he beat everybody to the top of the tree,but he had his own way of getting there,which was against the rules.He always had to stay after school and write,Cheating is wrong 500 times. This kept him from soaring,which he loved.But schoolwork comes first.The bear flunked because they said he was lazy, especially in winter.His best time was summer,but school wasn't open then.The penguin never went to school because he couldn't leave home,and they wouldn't start a school out where he lived.The zebra played hooky a lot.The ponies made fun of his stripes,and that made him very sad.The kangaroo started out at the top of the running class,but got discouraged trying to run on all fours like the other kids.The fish quit school because he was bored.To him all four subjects were the same, but nobody understood that. They had never been a fish.The squirrel got A's in climbing,but his flying teacher made him start from the ground up instead of the treetop down. His legs got so sore from practicing takeoffs that he began getting C's and D's in running.But the bee was the biggest problem of all,so the teacher sent him to Dr.Owl for testing.Dr.Owl said that the bees wings were just too small for flying and besides they were in the wrong place.But the bee never saw Dr.Owls report,so he just went ahead and flew anyway. I think I know a bee or two,don't you?

Mother's Day ~ A Loaded Day for Adoptees

© Photographer: Tomboy2290 | Agency: Dreamstime.com

Ok, so I take my Mom to a "Mother/Daughter Tea" Saturday. Mothers and Daughters everywhere. Beautifully decorated tables, each very individual and elaborate ~ a fun contest to "vote" on your favorite, and everything. It was nice.

We sat at a table with two young mothers and their 7 or 8 year old daughters ~ each looking so much alike, acting alike, etc. But I should be used to that by now, right?

Mom and I have almost run out of things to talk about. We just like to sit and observe everybody else. That's ok with me. I had to erect boundaries several years ago in order to "grow up" anyway. Boundaries that aren't very flexible due to fear of being smothered again.

They gave prizes away for the oldest Mom, youngest Mom (good for them!), and the Mom with the most children. The lady announcing the categories made the clarification that the Mom with the most children had to have "born them herself." OH MY GOODNESS.

You can just imagine how QUICKLY she was corrected ~ "Oh yes, OR adopted" she caught herself. I was personally amused by her "faux paux." I mean, in today's society she should have KNOWN she could never have gotten away with such a statement. Just looking around I noticed SEVERAL obviously "adopted" daughters. I wonder if they feel it too?

Mother's Day has always been "off" for me. I don't know why. I think it may be because my birthday actually falls on Mother's Day ALOT. Whoa. I have always been "THE GIFT". ha ha

Have never truly been able to dig deep enough down to truly figure out my real feelings surrounding all that. Just little tid bits of thoughts/feelings that quickly go back into hiding. Mothers, Daughters, my "Mom", my Mother (and all she represents to my selfhood, known and more importantly, UNKNOWN), now MY Motherhood, Grandmothers I grew up with, and those I didn't. No wonder it all seems MORE than a bit overwhelming.

Mothers Are Mothers Are Mothers

"Birthmothers Day" - An Adoptee's Perspective
by Anne Patterson

Of all the most condescending insulting visions of adopters and baby brokers(agencies and attorneys), the day called "Birthmother's Day" would win the prize for ignorance and disregard.

While the traditional adoptee has had to live with a blind invisibility about our issues of loss and grief this celebration takes the whole thing to the largest level of illusion.

Adopted adults have lost their mothers, their fathers, their families, their names, their heritage, their history, the rights to who they were when they were born, their birth certificates, and their identities. It is quite a long list of losses, and one's that should never be ignored.

Few adoptees are allowed to express their true feelings of loss and grief at being separated from their mothers and natural families. Birthmothers Day Celebrations is not only a total disregard for our feelings of sorrow but an overt exploitation of our pain.

I would never expect any mother who surrendered a child to adoption to celebrate that loss. I would further never expect any adopted adult or adopted child to "celebrate" their loss either.

The presumption that we adoptees need a separate day to think of our mothers is shocking.

Most adopted adults have spent years both mourning, dreaming, fantasizing, grieving, hoping and trying to come to terms with our separations and loss in adoption.

This celebration is an "in your face" slap to natural mothers who are seen as not being worthy enough to be thought of, loved or cherished on what a normal society calls "Mothers Day".

To think of my mother (or any mother) "celebrating" separation from their child is very cruel. It would be up there with divorce day "celebrations" and or "celebrating" diseases and other tragedies.

I personally and professionally decry and boycott all days called "Birthmother's Day Celebrations". Neither my mother who surrendered me to adoption, nor I, would wish to celebrate.

If we created "Infertility Celebration Day" I bet those who benefit financially from adoption, and potential adoptive parents might be offended.

Maybe that is what I will do: bake a cake and celebrate another person's pain?? Where is humanity going when such cruel orchestrations exist?

Copyright 2002 © Anne Patterson