May 12, 2008
Mother's Day ~ A Loaded Day for Adoptees
© Photographer: Tomboy2290 | Agency: Dreamstime.com
Ok, so I take my Mom to a "Mother/Daughter Tea" Saturday. Mothers and Daughters everywhere. Beautifully decorated tables, each very individual and elaborate ~ a fun contest to "vote" on your favorite, and everything. It was nice.
We sat at a table with two young mothers and their 7 or 8 year old daughters ~ each looking so much alike, acting alike, etc. But I should be used to that by now, right?
Mom and I have almost run out of things to talk about. We just like to sit and observe everybody else. That's ok with me. I had to erect boundaries several years ago in order to "grow up" anyway. Boundaries that aren't very flexible due to fear of being smothered again.
They gave prizes away for the oldest Mom, youngest Mom (good for them!), and the Mom with the most children. The lady announcing the categories made the clarification that the Mom with the most children had to have "born them herself." OH MY GOODNESS.
You can just imagine how QUICKLY she was corrected ~ "Oh yes, OR adopted" she caught herself. I was personally amused by her "faux paux." I mean, in today's society she should have KNOWN she could never have gotten away with such a statement. Just looking around I noticed SEVERAL obviously "adopted" daughters. I wonder if they feel it too?
Mother's Day has always been "off" for me. I don't know why. I think it may be because my birthday actually falls on Mother's Day ALOT. Whoa. I have always been "THE GIFT". ha ha
Have never truly been able to dig deep enough down to truly figure out my real feelings surrounding all that. Just little tid bits of thoughts/feelings that quickly go back into hiding. Mothers, Daughters, my "Mom", my Mother (and all she represents to my selfhood, known and more importantly, UNKNOWN), now MY Motherhood, Grandmothers I grew up with, and those I didn't. No wonder it all seems MORE than a bit overwhelming.