November 19, 2010

"The Long and Winding Road"

I will take the blind by a way of which they had no knowledge, guiding them by roads strange to them: I will make the dark places light before them, and the rough places level. These things will I do and will not give them up. ~ Isaiah 42:16

I find myself navigating through the same hospital halls in which my first Mother spent the last days of her life.
Why is ICU tucked in the corner, down long, lonely corridors; miles of twists & turns.
The hum of life-support and hushed tones.

No wonder I avoided this hospital (and this grief) for so long.
The familiar twinge of panic trying to find my way back. It would be so easy to get lost
I've been here before.
The long maze. Each turn; every hall the same...seemingly no way out. Finally an elevator. Please get me out of here...I need to breath. A different person. So reminiscent of my reunion journey...even after 20 years.

This time was different. I exit the hospital not quite so numb. Stronger...real.
My (paternal birth) cousin's maternal grandmother is fighting pneumonia.
I held her hand, prayed, and told her how much she is loved.

Oh, how I wish I could have been there with my (First) Mother...maybe it would have been easier than never knowing her.
 Maybe she would have never died.


Just Me said...

Hugs... I'm sorry.

Linda said...

Im sorry.....I cant listen to "The Long and Winding Road". It used to be one of my favorite songs. But it really is symblic of my quest to get back to my Mother.

How nice that you were able to be with your cousin when she needed you. I can totally understand how difficult being in that hospital must have been for you.

Sunday said...

So sorry too, Peach.

a Tonggu Momma said...

I am so very sorry.

Toyin O. said...

Praying for you:)