(Originally published on 4/13/11)
Don't stealthily move back the boundary lines
or cheat orphans out of their property (identity),
For they have a powerful Advocate
who will go to bat for them.
or cheat orphans out of their property (identity),
For they have a powerful Advocate
who will go to bat for them.
(Proverbs 23:10-11, Message Bible)
Memories buried deep within my soul
Hidden from everyday existence;
To protect the mask I hold
Tightly gripped by shaking hands
That hurt and ache like frozen death.
Cover my face ~ the facade.
No life or love or personality;
the soul inside me tried to flee.
The terror of nothingness came
the day they "sealed" my name.
Lost: One "dead" baby at the courthouse;
Certificate of Live Birth "sealed" around it's neck
Tightly riveted to a desk of "this is best".
Found: One imitation life living "the lie"
Created the day they made her "sign".
Gone in a moment
Wake up to reveal
Amended reality
In courts to fulfill.
A shell of existence;
Underground hiding.
Scared to come out ~ revealing
The ties that bind.
The corpse baby comes to life
No tears it cries, it's dead inside;
Just rescued "bastard"
With no real name.
Legitimize me with
These ties that bind;
Undo the lies.
Resurrection Power
Make me real ~ I plead.
6 comments:
Wow. The dead baby stuff blew me away. My birth parents supposedly told their families that I died at birth. No one bothered to claim my body, I was supposedly laid to rest in a potters field. When I found them, I was the dead come to life. They want nothing to do with one like me.
They are missing out so much. Adoption laws are so abusive to create shame, separation, and secrecy. It puts undo burdens on all involved and spews lies that bind people's minds about true meaning of family.
I'm so sorry your birth parents are missing out on knowing you, and you them.
((((Hugs))))
Thank you for expressing this. I'm another adoptee and i do not belong "neither here nor there".. take care
Beautiful words about true feelings. Glad I found your blog. Adult adoptee with search for mother completed 22 years ago. No birth record available to me. The injustice I'll never forgive, but the abandonment I have forgiven.
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