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Today at church I got this "revelation" about adoptees.
We're not really able to publicly grieve or even acknowledge the pain hidden deep inside over the loss of our mother's or our original selves.
No, we HAVE a family ~ we're "special" & "chosen".
WHY WOULD WE NEED TO GRIEVE ANYTHING?
So I got up from my seat after church (wiping away tears) and high-tailed it quickly into the restroom to "freshen" up.
I hurried past the rest of church society intermingling, conversing, sharing, connecting ~ and made a bee-line for the bathroom, as usual.
Didn't want them to see me completely undone emotionally.
Because then I'd have to be REAL.
And what I realized is that most of society DOESN'T WANT the REAL ME.
They want the "Happy to be Adopted" me.
The one who, sure, may have a HINT of CURIOSITY, but nothing that really affects me deeply ~ because I am fulfilling the role that was written out on my amended birth certificate, my adoption decree.
WHO I AM SUPPOSED TO BE.
Society buys into this and shrinks back from any adoptee who breaks free and dares to become REAL ~ not just the person they were legally created to be ~ but who God created them to be.
And embrace. Heal. Live.
But many times it has to be done alone. And in secret, like sealed records in the courthouse.
Adoption is like that somehow.
It creates LIES to COVER truth...true parentage, true identities, true stories, true realities.
Replaced by man-made truths...new parentage, new identities, new "realities".
New certificates. New names. New homes. New lives.
But nothing man-made lasts.
It eventually crumbles and TRUTH prevails. Even through great pain.
I'm so glad that Someone wants to know the real me.
Even if I am in a bathroom stall crying, seemingly alone.