...if any?

 

 

Every January I do a search of bills introduced in the Oklahoma legislature dealing with adoption. 

This year, along with a few others, OK SB 110 came up under a search regarding "birth certificates".

   

Several states have passed legislation recommended by the Child Welfare League of America, restoring the basic human right of every adopted person unhindered access to their own unaltered original birth certificate. 

Kansas has never sealed original birth certificates from adoptees. 

Oklahoma, however, has failed to ensure this right to its adopted citizens. 

In fact, some of the language of OK SB 110 is quite concerning.   

"The State Registrar shall seal and file the original certificate of birth, if any, with the certificate of decree of adoption...the State Registrar, upon receipt of a certificate of a decree of adoption, shall prepare a supplementary birth certificate in the new name of the adopted person with the names of the adoptive parents listed as the parents...

"IF ANY..."  

Two little words can bring big consequences. 

Not only is it ridiculous that adopted people are issued a new "amended" (falsified) record of birth which lists parents who never gave birth to them, but also their original birth certificate (if any) is "sealed" from them indefinitely. 

 

It is unlawful to falsify official documents in America except for the birth record of adoptees. 

 

In fact, laws do not ensure that we even have an accurate and unfalsified original birth certificate at all.  At times adoptive parent's names are put on an original birth certificate, before an adoption is even finalized. 

This is a travesty.  

 

It strips us and our children of important on-going family medical histories, genealogy, and identity.  

 

The only ones "sealed records" laws protect are those who lobby government officials and make their living from the supply and demand based billion-dollar per year adoption industry in America. 

 

Adoptees are made to feel like commodities when money exchanges hands in the "sealing" of our identities, and unethical and coercive practices can be hidden behind "sealed records" laws.

 

 

 

   Adoption touches almost every family in America in some form or another.  Genealogists have predicted that within another few generations NO American will be guaranteed an accurate family tree or genealogy because of "sealed record" laws in adoption.  

 

They were enacted during the "Baby Scoop" era of the 40's, 50's and 60's to protect newly formed adoptive families, when vulnerable unwed mothers were given no other choice but to surrender their babies for adoption. 

The Supreme Courts of both TN and OR have determined that restoring the right of adoptee's access to their original record of birth is constitutional because first mothers were never guaranteed (nor asked for) perpetual "confidentiality" under the law.  

 

In fact, if a first mother surrenders her child for adoption, but for some reason the child is never adopted, but remains in foster care, the original birth certificate is never sealed. 

These archaic laws weren't enacted to protect the "privacy" rights of first mothers. 

 

They only serve to protect the adoption industry and the newly formed adoptive family, while they fail to protect the rights of the very children they claim to serve. 

 

Statistics have also shown that abortion rates in states which have passed adoptee access legislation have declined more than the national average, while adoption rates remain consistent.        

Interestingly enough, this proposed bill also states,

"To protect the integrity of vital statistics records, to insure their proper use, and to insure the efficient and proper administration of the vital statistics system, it shall be unlawful for any person to permit inspection of, or to disclose information contained in, vital statistics records, or to copy or issue a copy of all or part of any such record except to the person who is the subject of the record or in such person's interest unless ordered to do so by a court of competent jurisdiction..." 

 

Adoptees are "the person who is the subject of the record", yet sealed records law in adoption prevents us from accessing our own records.

 

We are the only U.S. citizens denied access to our own original record of birth. 

 

OK SB 110 goes on to propose... 

"Each month, the State Department of Health shall transmit to the Department of Human Services a record of all registered births that have occurred within the state for the immediately preceding month. The Department of Human Services shall use such records for the purpose of assisting in the administration of programs related to children, including but not limited to child welfare, adoptions..."

 

This bill would require the OK Bureau of Vital Statistics to automatically forward every child's birth certificate born in Oklahoma to the OK Department of Human Services...whether that child and family is a client of DHS or not. 

 

To me, this seems like an over-reach of power. 

 

Even more so, it further disenfranchises every Oklahoma born adopted person, who is still denied access to their own records.   

Opening the Wells

                                     © Photographer: Ansebach | Agency: Dreamstime.com

                                                      (Post originally published in 2010)

It was a true privilege to attend a recent OK Legislative Interim study on adoptee access to original birth certificates.

Hearing the hearts of the amazing people who spoke on the importance of restoring the human right of all adoptees to know their identity and histories was an inspiration and joy.

Thank God for the opportunity to be there, know them, and work beside them. Even though it wasn't heavily attended, it felt right.

We were able to dispel some common myths surrounding adoptee access, sharing the good news that in the states which have implemented this law, abortion rates have actually declined more than the national average, and that birth mother "confidentiality" was also a myth perpetuated by the adoption industry.

Birth mothers were never promised (nor asked for) confidentiality by law.   

The TN and OR Supreme Courts have both ruled on this issue.
"Sealed records" were not implemented until 1939 in OK ~ to protect the newly formed adoptive family, not birthmothers.

In fact, even today, if a birthmother relinquishes her child for adoption, but for some reason the child is never adopted and remains in foster care, his/her original birth certificate is never sealed or amended.

I returned home so thankful to be able to spend time with my son and husband for a few hours that evening before bedtime. It was one of those nights of light sleep with many dreams, but not really remembering any of them.

When I woke up the next morning, "Genesis 26:18" was impressed on my heart and mind. Having to get up quickly and prepare my son for school, I didn't give it much thought, but briefly wondered what it meant.

Later that morning, as I sat in a Women's Bible Study I have attended for several years, I remembered the scripture reference, and quickly looked it up, curious as to what it said. I froze in disbelief when I read it, almost too shocked to believe what I was reading, but so encouraged.

"He reopened the wells his father had dug and restored the names his father had given them."

This scripture hit me so strongly, after just attending the interim study the day before, and waking up with this reference (which I've never read before) in my mind and before my eyes. Could it be that God is encouraging us? That He is the One who stands with us on this issue?

After all, names and genealogy are extremely important in Biblical text, and God is renown for restoring and redeeming (buying back) the lives of those separated from their God-given identities and people ~ Moses, Joseph, and a host of others.

Proverbs 23:10-11 says,

"Don't stealthily move the boundary lines
or cheat orphans out of their property (identity),
For they have a powerful Advocate
who will go to bat for them." (Message Bible)

As I read on in Genesis 26, I noticed that the entire rest of that chapter was concerning "rights":

"Isaac’s servants also dug in the Gerar Valley and discovered a well of fresh water. 20 But then the shepherds from Gerar came and claimed the spring. “This is our water,” they said, and they argued over it with Isaac’s herdsmen. So Isaac named the well Esek (which means “argument”). 21 Isaac’s men then dug another well, but again there was a dispute over it. So Isaac named it Sitnah (which means “hostility”). 22 Abandoning that one, Isaac moved on and dug another well. This time there was no dispute over it, so Isaac named the place Rehoboth (which means “open space”), for he said, “At last the Lord has created enough space for us to prosper in this land.”

Several U.S. states have passed Adoptee Access Legislation (supported by The Child Welfare League of America) restoring the unconditional right of adult adoptees to access their original birth certificate, just like every other American citizen.

Wouldn't it be a miraculous wonder if Oklahoma became the next state to restore the identity rights of it's adopted citizens ~ a new beginning, setting a national example for restoring the dignity of over six million adoptees and their families. After all, Kansas, our neighbor to the north, has NEVER sealed obc's to adult adoptees.

It was really interesting to me the way the chairman of this committee ended the interim study. Even after listening to middle-aged (or older) adults speak for over an hour about the human right of identity, and how "sealed records" in adoption made adopted people "perpetual children" in the eyes of the law, she sincerely thanked us for coming and then went on to share how "special" adopted "children" are, being "chosen" in our families. (In reference to the term adoptees hear often, "chosen child".)

As I sat in Bible Study that morning, I thanked God for giving me this dream. It was such an encouragement in the midst of the journey. We left Bible Study that morning with these words and a prayer.

"Now all glory to God, who is able, through his mighty power at work within us, to accomplish infinitely more than we might ask or think. Glory to him through all generations forever and ever! Amen."

Adoption: The Solution to "Orphan" Care?

                                       © Photographer: Icefields | Agency: Dreamstime.com

There is a growing trend towards "Orphan Care" in the Church in America.

In fact, I've seen posters all over town this week advertising "Orphan For A Night," a fundraiser to raise money for the adoption of "orphans".

 There's even an upcoming conference in Austin entitled "Together for Adoption".

I am so saddened by the popular teaching in today's Church inaccurately equating God's "adoption" of His children to the same "adoption" we know of in our society.

The original Greek language (in Scripture) translated "adopted" (as God's children) could have been more accurately translated as "reunited" as God's children.

As an adoptee (and Christian) I am thankful that God is my loving Father & Creator, not just an "adoptive" Father. When adoptees are expected to believe it was God's perfect will for us to be "chosen" to fulfill a new identity & role in our adoptive families (hence, lose our original family & identity) it plants confusion & distrust into our very souls.

I am comforted by the words of a famous Bible hero, Joseph, who was separated and later reunited with the family of his birth. He profoundly concluded, "What the enemy meant for evil, God turned for good."

God is not the author of tragedy. Adoptees were not necessarily "meant to be" members of their new adoptive families. They landed there through profound loss, and should not be expected to celebrate with "Gotcha" parties and hurtful theological statements on how "lucky" they are to be "adopted". This just adds yet another layer of disenfranchised grief they must work through utterly alone, if ever, to become whole adults.

We also need to be very wary of the mentality in "saving orphans" by adoption (erasing & sealing their original identity) when the supply/demand princples in the business of adoption create an environment for gross conflict of interest and clouded ethics.

Adoptees are the only citizens whose identities are "amended" on their very birth certificates.  Archaic "sealed records" laws in adoption strips their God-given right to obtain their original identities indefinately.  Six US states have passed legislation restoring the unconditional right of adult adoptees to their original birth certificates, restoring their dignity and identities for not only themselves, but also their children and grandchildren. 

Are the "orphans" we are "saving" true orphans? 

UNICEF reports that the number of true orphans (the loss of both parents) may be lower than originally thought.

Are some children made "legal" orphans (on paper) for the purpose of making them "available" for adoption, when they have living relatives who could raise them?

Why is adoption so expensive? Could that same money and energy be used to help families of origin remain together?

Are children served best by being stripped of their original identity & culture or would it be more Christ-like to develop ways in which to care for orphans within their own homeland?

 These are just a few of the questions we need to be asking before the Church blindly accepts an over-simplified philosophy of "saving" orphans through "adoption".

Attachment, Trauma, And Conflict Of Interest

 

 

 

 

 It seems like every day my sweet son decides he wants

to "be" something different when he grows up. 

The other day he came home from school
proclaiming he wants to ride bulls...
what every mother wants to hear! 

 

As I sat through an all-day seminar entitled,
"Trauma: How it Affects Growth and Development in Children,"
hosted by the OK Adoption Coalition,
I felt as if I was getting a taste of my son's desired profession.





Being adopted is quite a ride in itself. 
Then we hear "professional" commentators give the "play by play,"
with no riding experience of their own. 
Adoptees are left to dismount and clean up
after the animal ourselves.




Does adoption, the way it is viewed today,
truly serve the child, 
or those in the business of "building" families?

"Attachment Theory" labels a child 
if they fail to "attach" to their care-giver 
(who get's to define this concept?),
because, as the speaker stated...

 

"It's not in their DNA...
babies will 'indiscriminately' attach up to six months old. 
That is why it is SO important to terminate parental rights
as quickly as possible and provide 'permanence' for these "kiddos". 

 

We are not ducks who will "imprint"
on the first person we see after hatching from the egg. 

We are humans who experience profound life-long loss
when separated from our mothers and families.   

 

If DNA and genetic mirroring were not essential parts of our human experience in relational development...
why is the internet full of searching adoptees and first families?

 

And what of this:
 

 

 

This is a visual of a theory which the adoption industry
works hard to dismiss. 
Nancy Verrier, a psychologist and adoptive mother, says...

"There exists a great need for legislative action and concern for the rights of adoptees.
Few dare give voice to that which they know in their hearts: that the connection between biological family and child is primal, mystical, mysterious, and everlasting.
Far more than merely biological and historical, this primal connection is also cellular, psychological, emotional, and spiritual."

I can't tell you how difficult it is to live in a society
which dismisses the very humanity of adoptees.

If we want to be truly trauma-informed,
we must acknowledge the adoptee's reality.

 Changing a child's name,
sealing their genetic identity and history from them,
and then asking them, as well,
to fulfill a "role" in their "new" family...with which 
they share no genetic connection;
with caretakers who need to be 
legally and emotionally known
as "Mother and Father", 
only serves to disenfranchise an adoptee's
 trauma and loss, 
and piles on added layers of complex loyalty issues.

The only valid "connections"
according to some behavioral health "experts" 
are made in court-created "legal" families through adoption. 
Mentions of natural families are made in 
condescending tones,
referring to "the bios" which are, of course, 
the source, and only source, of the child's "trauma."

What about the trauma of changing a child's identity
and expecting them to play a role 
for which they were not created to fulfill? 

A defining moment during this seminar, 
occurred when the entire room erupted in applause 
after the speaker made the assertion...

"'culture" is only defined through 'relationship'".   

 

"Best interest" of a child cannot be undermined in the "name of culture".    

 

It was obvious, everyone was thinking of the Baby Veronica case and the role ICWA played in that long-drawn out tragic battle over a child's very identity, family and personhood.

Veronica Cappobianco is living her life separated
from the family and blood that created her,
the connections that could have, and did, nurture her very core. 
All because of this theory, unethical adoption practices, 
and the power it has garnered by an adoption community 
that still sees children as "blank slates" and, unfortunately, possessions.

When will America wake up and ensure an end to the commodifying of children and conflict of interest in our adoption and child welfare systems?   

The inherent right of a child to be raised by
his/her own family is often thwarted by a system
which gives agencies and foster/hopeful adoptive parents
the legal ability to draw out a contested adoption in court
and then argue "best interest" of a child to stay
with the "only family they have ever known".

We need to ensure ethical adoption laws which
protect natural families. 
Every child deserves his/her own attorney.       

Adoptees are viewed as perpetual children in the middle
of a never-ending game of keep away. 
We are marginalized by being labeled "bitter" 
if we speak of the injustice of having our names changed, identities sealed, or families separated through coercion or conflict of interest. 
Sealed records in adoption not only strips adoptee's of their identity, but it also fails to ensure ethical adoption and child welfare practices. 
A lot can be hidden behind a sealed record.

I once spoke to an adoption attorney who asserted that a new "amended" birth certificate and name must be assigned to an adoptee in order to prevent them from being seen as "second class". 
The more I thought about it, the more I realized, that it is the act of changing and sealing our identities that actually makes us "second class".

It gives the message that adoptee's are not
accepted unless "amended".

This could be the real reason why
a child struggles with "attachment". 

Yes, "attachment" to a caregiver is necessary for survival,
but for an adoptee it feels like holding on for dear life,
while dangling over the edge of a cliff.

The last thing we need is a lucrative adoption industry
feeding society myths and flawed theories
which disenfranchise and exploit
the very ones they claim to be serving. 
Yet these same "experts" are the ones who seem
to have the ear of our court systems, DHS, legislators
and behavioral health services. 
The ones making policy decisions.
 
We now have "professionals" contracted by those who earn their living
 by adoption, defining terms such as "best interest", "psychological parent", "permanency", and "attachment"
based on the perceptions of adoptive parents,
rather than protecting the inherent right of a child
to their identity, family history and connections.

With flawed theories of "attachment" expressed in the quote below,
no wonder adoptee's live a life-time of disenfranchised grief.   

  

Since "child placing" agencies are contracting
with behavioral health "experts"
who perpetuate these myths
(and many others)
to legislators, policy makers,
and foster and adoptive parents,
whose interests are we serving? 
 
Children deserve better. 

We need to start honoring the child,
not who the child can become to complete a new family.

The fact foster and adoptive parents
don't have a biological understanding of their child,
foster and adoptive children are more at risk of being
abused or drugged just to conform
to unrealistic expectations. 

 When a child doesn't have any mirroring of their own self
 through their family, they struggle with anxiety and hyper vigilance. 
It often presents as ADD or even sensory issues. 
Yet it is termed as "attachment issues" or "RAD"
and the child is given a label for a truly natural response,
rather than the problem being placed on the system
that put the child in the unnatural situation in the first place. 

 

My heart went out to one mother who stood up asking for help
for her eighteen year old adopted son. 
She said he had gone through all "the therapy"
and was still struggling. 
What could she do? 

Out of an entire room full of self-asserted "expertise",
she got no help whatsoever. 
Instead of given resources that could have really helped her family and son,
she was given a "band aid". 

The speaker described an exercise they do with "traumatized" children which consists of giving the child a band aid and asking them to put it on their body. 

This supposedly helps the child feel more comfortable to "unload their baggage" because through acknowledging they have an "owie" somewhere on their body, they will acknowledge "heart" issues more easily. 

 

How can an adopted person honestly find their heart in the midst of loyalty issues?

Adoptees must live an identity and narrative defined by others.
That script is skewed based on societal myths
perpetuated by an adoption system that serves the "demand"
for adoptable infants and children.

The sealing of our records steals
not only our identities,
but also any accountability over the "professionals"
who profit from us.  

 Federal adoption incentives influence child welfare philosophy
and adoption policy, when states are rewarded monetarily
for each adoption completed, but not for services towards natural families, family preservation, and reunification efforts.  

"Swift Adoption" programs and "Bridge" foster parents 
whose ultimate goal is adopting, adds to the conflict of interest
in a child welfare system whose goal should be preservation
 of kinship and natural families.

We need to ensure that "permanency" isn't influenced
by financial incentives and tax credits
which adds money to state budgets 
each time they encourage "adoption" placements
over reunification efforts with a child's natural family.


An adopted child's mastery of developmental and relational tasks 
are stunted because of myths perpetuated by an adoption industry 
that splits us apart.  

  
 
I could only accept myself when I was able to know, 
and embrace my dual identity...
by both birth and adoption.
  
When I found the courage to grieve
the losses that had been disenfranchised,
I was finally able to feel and fully experience 
both the good and bad in life.

Only then, as a whole person,
could I embrace myself and my families. 

The only other adoptee I knew in the building that day
 was a darling infant boy dressed in business casual
being cooed over and passed around the table like fresh meat. 

I pray for him, and for the eighteen year old son of the concerned mother. 
And for all of us.   

"Personhood" for Whom?

“The laws of this state shall be interpreted and construed to acknowledge on behalf of the unborn child at every stage of development all the rights, privileges, and immunities available to other persons, citizens, and residents of this state." ~ language in the newly passed Oklahoma "Personhood" bill

* As a pro-life Oklahoman and an adult adoptee, I am saddened by the lobbying effort of the Right to Life groups against ethical adoption reform and adoptee access legislation.  See "When It Is Illegal To Know Who You Are."

Think about it. Adoptee's very identities are aborted when their birth certificate is sealed. No matter how much they love their adoptive family, they live their entire lives asked to fulfill the legal role of someone they were not born as. They are human beings who have a right to know their truth. 

I would like to address pervasive myths regarding Adoptee Access Legislation currently
being passed in several states across our nation. Restoring the
unconditional right of adult adoptees to obtain their original birth
certificates is a human right supported by The Child Welfare League of
America and several other child advocacy and adoption groups. Statistics
in the states that have restored this right show that abortion rates do not increase and adoption rates do not decrease.
(See American Adoption Congress at http://www.americanadoptioncongress.org/reform_adoption_data.php)

The Supreme Courts of both TN and OR (both adoptee access states) have ruled that birthmother's were never promised confidentiality under the law, but instead, archaic
"sealed records" laws in adoption were only enacted to
protect the newly formed adoptive family. In fact, if a birthmother
relinquishes her child for adoption, but for some reason the child is
never adopted, that child's original birth certificate is never amended
or sealed. This alone proves that "sealed records" was not enacted to
protect the "privacy" rights of birthmothers. It was enforced upon them.

The true story of Philomena Lee shares the plight of millions of women during the "Baby Scoop Era" who lost their children to adoption. 
(See Jan Baker's article, "Open Records: Do Birthmother's Need Protected? at http://adoption.about.com/od/adoptionrights/a/openbirthmompro.htm) 
Kansas, our neighbor to the north, has never sealed original birth
certificates to adult adoptees. Restoring the right of adult adoptees to
obtain their original birth certificates is a basic human right.

Birth certificates of American citizens should never be "sealed" or "amended" (falsified) from the very person they belong to, yet the adoption industry continues these practices. This is unethical and violates the very core beliefs that the "right to life" movement claims to support.  Whose interests do we serve?      

True "personhood" mentality would not permit this to happen to millions of fellow human beings. Yet, these very organizations lobby against adoptee access legislation.  They lobby against ethical adoption reform measures that would ensure human-rights protections for the very ones they claim to serve (OK HB 2442 & HB 3011).  See "Veronica Case Leads to Adoption Reform Proposals".   

Their powerful lobby reduces adopted individuals to a commodity; our very identities sealed and amended for the fulfillment of an economically driven supply & demand based system.(See "Shotgun Adoption" in The Nation ~
http://www.thenation.com/article/shotgun-adoption) or "Giving Away Baby".

Legislators can prove themselves as "pro-life" by extending the SAME rights and privileges of "personhood" to adult adoptees. 

Currently, in all but 7 states, adoptees remain "perpetual children" in the eyes of the law, without the rights and privileges afforded to every other American citizen to access their own record of birth. Archaic "sealed records" law strips adopted citizens of their human dignity, identity, and history.
(For information about the states that have enacted this legislation see Adoptee Rights Coalition at http://www.adopteerightscoalition.com/p/for-legislators.html)

It Was As If You Were Expecting Victory

© Photographer: Rtimages | Agency: Dreamstime.com

It worked for Luper ~ Maybe some 'sit-ins' are in order at the Vital Stats office regarding the "sealed records" system in adoption?

In honor of Martin Luther King Day I'd like to repost this article about civil rights hero, Clara Luper ~ what an inspiration!

I so wish my beautiful Mom and first Mother were here to help celebrate their grandson's birthday this weekend.  What an honor for him to share a birthday near Dr. King's. 

It was as if you were expecting victory: Luper took front seat in segregation fight
by: NORA FROESCHLE
World Staff Writer 7/15/2007

The battle for civil rights in Oklahoma had perhaps its most defining moment in 1958 at a drugstore counter in Oklahoma City. A history teacher named Clara Luper captured the attention of local and national media by organizing what is thought to be one of the first publicized sit-ins. "It was as if you were expecting victory, just waiting on time," Luper, 84, said in a recent interview at her Oklahoma City home. "I just think that it happened yesterday; it's that fresh in my mind."

Sit-inners, as they were called by those in the movement, would gather at Katz Drugstore in Oklahoma City, find an open seat and order a soda. The drinks never came. Sometimes five hours would tick by at Katz and other segregated establishments in Oklahoma City and around the state. Luper, then a history teacher at John Marshall High School, led the student sit-ins with her three children in tow.

"I must have been 11 or 12," said her son Calvin Luper, 60. "It definitely had an effect on my entire life. It made me walk the line straighter than a lot of teenagers." Calvin Luper recalled a cross-country trip to New York City to perform a play for the youth council of the National Association for the Advancement of Colored People. For the first time in their lives, the young people sat at cafe counters in cities and towns along a northern route. "That was a feeling that to this day I cannot adequately describe," Calvin Luper said.

The group was hit with the reality of segregation when they returned home through the South. "I wanted the kids to see segregation in other places than Oklahoma," Clara Luper said. Often referred to as the mother of the civil rights movement in Oklahoma, Luper was arrested 26 times during the six years she led sit-ins in Oklahoma City and around the state. Luper said her father inspired her to believe things could change. Calvin Luper becomes emotional when he talks about his grandfather. "My grandfather never had the opportunity to take us to a restaurant. You know how your grandparents bring you to Furr's . . . he never had the opportunity because of that 'lady' segregation," he said.

But Clara Luper said she always knew a change was going to come. "The majority of blacks never accepted segregation as a way of life. They believed it was a temporary situation," Luper said. In 1964, one sit-inner finally got his drink order. "I didn't worry because I believed in a God that I'd never seen. I just believed," she said.

The Business of Adoption

© Photographer: Icefields | Agency: Dreamstime.com

(originally published 10/17/09)

I went to a meeting recently at the OK State Capitol regarding an Adoption Review Task Force that is meeting monthly to recommend changes in the adoption code. It was created mainly because of an OK Supreme Court report documenting gross unethical practices, including coercion of "birth mothers" to relinquish their children. The task force is mainly composed of adoption agency personel, judges, attorneys, and one birth mother. It is open to the public and there were 5 adoptees there.

A panel of adoptive parents spoke about a new law they want passed called "Cooper's Law." It would nix the current requirement for all relinquishing mothers to appear before a Judge, and allow for them to simply sign the papers in the hospital or somewhere else and it be notarized. Several people spoke out against it.

Anyway, I made the statement that "it isn't too much to ask of any mother to appear before a judge since they are making such an important, permanent decision". And also stated that the "counseling" given by those who work for an adoption agency whose business it is to complete adoptions may be a conflict of interest. 

Sitting through these meetings and hearing a 2 hour discussion of how even "non-profit" adoption agencies (we all know "non-profit" doesn't necessarily mean no profit) don't want to legislate a "fee" cap or "expense" cap for adoptions because each case is so "different" ~ even though there is a case before the OK Supreme Court right now regarding an unethical adoption that cost over $120,000, makes it extremely hard to remain quiet.

We sit through these meetings feeling like this could be a discussion about the selling of cars, but certainly not people. The very people who must sit quietly and not dare speak about our legislated lack of medical history or roots. Even when several U.S. states have passed legislation restoring the right of adult adoptees to obtain their original birth certificates.

At this same meeting a comment was made by one of the task force members that she called the office of vital stats to see if they could track the number of adoptions in OK because it is so unregulated. She said they mentioned that some original birth certificates are coming in with the names of adoptive parents on them already, even before an amended birth certificate is created. I spoke up and asked if the members could address this issue because it is so important for adoptees to have an accurate obc, and it was as if it was such a minor issue they totally dismissed it, like it was so trivial it didn't deserve an answer.

Some would say that the new "open" adoptions are the answer to these issues. That adoptees will not "suffer" the same feelings of genealogical bewilderment because they will know their heritage and may even have contact with their original family. What the agencies fail to address is that "open" adoptions are not protected in law, and can become "closed" adoptions at any time, and many do. Even with "open" adoptions, the adoptee's original birth certificate is still "sealed" and an amended birth certificate created.

Some say WE need to get over our "issues"? The ones still being created, legislated, and dismissed.

The Price

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You have all been redeemed at infinite cost: do not become slaves to men.

I Corinthians 7:23

 

As I was cleaning out my Mom's home during her recent move to assisted living, I came across some paperwork that made me stop in my tracks. Included, was the actual check she and my adoptive Dad wrote for the "finalization" of my adoption in 1968.

It even bore the stamp "Paid" across it.

Growing up I remember being very proud of my status as a "Chosen Child".

Now I realize it was a way of compensating for the uncomfortable feelings of "differentness" and subsequent questions lurking in my adopted mind. 

Unacknowledged thoughts and feelings that compounds the trauma of disenfranchised grief from which adoptees must disassociate in a society which views adoption as all party and no pain.

Yet sadly, in adoption, when money is exchanged and records of the child's original identity are sealed, it sets the environment for conflict of interest, as well as unethical and coercive activities.  It fails to protect the best interests of children and natural families.   It is essentially the buying and selling of children.

Adoptees are "chosen" = "bought" to fill a role.

Societal views of adoption are influenced by "professionals" (ie. brokers) who make their living off the business.

 

Truths of adoption are hidden behind the almighty dollar and adoptees are silenced into a fog of "gratefulness".

Very few adoption agencies will even acknowledge valuable works such as "The Primal Wound" which could actually educate society about the needs of adoptees. Why won't they?  Because it might damage their business.  

The OK Supreme Court case, "In the Matter of the Adoption of Baby Boy A" points out the lengths people will go to broker & procure a baby, including the use of private investigators, and objecting to the non-consent of natural parents.

In this case alone, $147,289.42 was paid in attorney's "fees" and adoption "costs" to obtain this precious commodity.  Baby Veronica, Baby Desirai and others...bought.  They are paying an even higher price than what was paid for them.        

 

Every adoptee's identity is bought, FOR a price...  

Birth certificates are "amended" upon the finalization of adoption to (inaccurately) state that adopters gave birth.  Identities are wiped out and changed so that adoptees will be "as if" born to another.  But is that truthful? 

 

Whose interest does that serve? 

 

Adoption law does not serve those who need homes, but those who want a child...and the brokers who use whatever means necessary to obtain the product.  Documents are falsified and original birth certificates are forever sealed from the very party it pertains to. 

As an adult adoptee, and a Christian, this all makes the spiritual concept of "redemption" take on a whole new significance. 

I'm so thankful our Creator God & Father paid the ultimate price to "redeem" us (means "to buy back" or "pay a ransom").