January 26, 2017

Never Lose Hope

It sometimes feels "as if" I'm dragging my mind and body through quick sand. 
Writing that sentence releases tears.  

2013 was a hard year. 
So was 2014, 2015, and 2016.  
I haven't written about many things because they are still too close to my heart.

I don't know why, but emotional processing seems to take me forever.  
I go numb.  
And silent, as well.

I am working again, which is good.  And, in another area of passion -  Education.  
Lord, please don't let me miss life in the midst of grief.   

My son gives me such joy.  He's the sweetest, funniest boy on Earth.  

 I tell myself I should write down the deeply profound lessons he teaches me, 
in his most unique and amazing way.  

It would bless many others, if I could just awaken myself enough to share.  

In the Bible, when David felt discouraged, he would encourage himself 
by recounting the many miracles God performed on his behalf.   

 Even though David messed up royally, God called him 
"...a man after My own heart."

Thank you, Jesus, for the GIFT of salvation.    

Lord, teach us to love.  Like you love.  

Thank you for your mercies...new every morning.  
You sustain us through the wilderness of grief and loneliness, 
and our frail humanity.      

Great is Your Faithfulness.  

Finally, I'm revisiting this blog, started ten years ago in 2007.

Through the years, as I grappled with being adopted and reunited with my family,
 experiencing tremendous joys and devastating losses;
the care-taking of older parents,
and finally becoming a Mother myself;
 buried emotions have sometimes poured out faster than my fingers could type. 

But since I find myself currently dealing with somewhat of a writer's block,
I thought I'd just share a few archived pictures I recently came across.

Here's my one pound miracle boy,
twelve years ago.
Just for perspective.
For several years I couldn't bring myself to
look at this picture because of the emotions it triggered.
It took me right back to the NICU and those first 98 unimaginable days
we somehow survived.

The day after his birth, as he struggled to live, this new Mother was desperate to find comfort as I sat in my hospital bed with empty arms and womb.  
The open Bible on my lap became my life-line.

On his third day of life, my son underwent heart surgery, and that morning my Bible fell open to this amazing verse, which I had never read before. 

"I will comfort you like a Mother comforts her child..." Isaiah 66:13

Knowing God Himself would comfort my son (and me) when my arms could not, 
brought relief to my grieving heart. 

The day I finally got to hold him was Heaven.

Now, many years later, my son is starting his own journal.  And here is his very first entry....

"I was born early, but God helped me."

Lord, please help us all keep living and writing our parts.

We can do nothing without You.

"NOW faith is" 
Hebrews 11

During the time I was believing God to break fear off my life 
and give me the courage to have children, I was reading the newspaper one day 
and saw the cutest picture of a baby crawling away from the camera. 

On the back of his diaper was a $100 bill with a picture of Benjamin Franklin. 
(My last name). 
Suddenly, I felt my spirit leap with excitement.  
Although my soul felt weak and unable to believe, 
my spirit had been feeding on God's promises, 
which bring faith (belief, even before we see).  

I got my scissors and carefully cut out that picture.  
All the while, my finite mind screaming, "YOU FOOL!"
"How could YOU ever have a child...you are not worthy, you fearful weakling."

Even while my emotions were being bombarded with doubt, 
I tearfully forced my hand to hang the picture on my refrigerator, 
where I would be reminded daily 
of this seemingly impossible desire of my heart.

Is anything too hard for God?

Just like Abraham, against all hope, believed in hope....I believe that 
very simple, yet emotional step of faith helped bring me my beautiful son.  

Every minute since has also been a walk of faith and grace, 
depending literally minute by minute upon God's mercy and miracles.  

Thank you, Father God, for loving us and never leaving us.
 Help us always feed upon your Word, for You truly are the Bread of Life.


Lori Lavender Luz said...

xoxo, Peach.

samia hussain said...

nice blog

نصيبي اعيش كدا نصيبي اعيش كدا said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
mhrwriter said...

People always put trust on god and never lose their hope. We have so many problems in our lives but always hope that god is there to get away from the problems. So, no one can lose hope.

Anonymous said...

Because of the war and crisis in Ukraine the number of its orphans is steadily growing. Unfortunately, we can’t make kids happy all over Ukraine. However, we can certainly help orphans at Shpola orphanage. That’s right in the very center of Ukraine. Follow the link https://hopenowusa.org please, your help is crucial.

sandy said...


نقل عفش من الرياض الى الاردن
ارخص شركة نقل عفش بجدة
افضل شركة نقل عفش بجدة

آدم على said...

شركة تنظيف فلل بالرياض
شركة تنظيف واجهات بالرياض
شركة تنظيف موكيت بالرياض
شركة تنظيف خزانات بالرياض
عندما تستعين بشركة متخصصة في عمل التنظيف الخاصة عندما تكون الشركة لها سمعة طيبة في مجال التنظيف ستحصل على منزل براق وأرضيات و حوائط نظيفة تماما مع الحفاظ على ألوانها من مواد التنظيف لنظافة شيئا ضروريا وخاصة عند تواجد اطفال صغار يخشي عليهم من الاتربة

Bakar Ayam Marketing said...


Agen S128

Agen Sabung Ayam

Arena Sabung Ayam

Sabung Ayam Pisau

Sabung Ayam PW

Sabung Ayam Online Terpercaya





febyy chantika said...

Link Alternatif S1288poker

S1288poker Judi POker Online

CS S1288poker

S1288poker Indonesia

Online Assignment Help said...

It is the big concern how to maintain the overall glory of accessing the scholar degree. It does not matter you are studying in which subject domain. During the learning process of you choose subject stream, all students cannot give equal attention to complete it on time. For gaining the best output, they would have to take the online Assignment Help with our academic expert. In order to know more information, you have to surf our web portal.

Liam said...

You should have clearly define topics which you want to learn and start collecting study material according to that topics. Also some assignment help service you can use to get knowledge as well. Just proceed accordingly and don’t waste your time because time is precious. Programming Assignment Help

MyAssignmentHelpAu said...

Your blogs are amazing and I am glad to read them. Thanks for sharing the tips and samples of our assignments. They are useful in knowing the key points that can increase the value of an assignment. And a special thanks to the Assignment Help Australia for helping the students 24/7. You can email us at Info@Myassignmenthelpau.Com or Phone Number: +61-2-8005-8227

Ireland Assignment Help said...

Your blog is excellent blog post. We provide best report writing help services in ireland and dublin for students.

Dylan Eales said...

Thanks for this informative content. It’s really good. Actually, I want to share some thoughts and reviews about an assignment help company in Australia and the brand name is SAMPLE ASSIGNMENT. Here, I am working as an Academic Expert. To look at our online academic assistants who provide reference assignment including Accounting, Management, Finance, IT, Economics, Computer Science, Nursing, Marketing; all Academic subjects to University Students all over the Australia or even worldwide, Here is a big online assignment help providers who help students to get HD grades according to assessment guidelines and instructions. Those who are searching for assignment help Australia, Melbourne, Perth, Brisbane, Adelaide etc. get a touch with Sample Assignment - the No.1 Assignment provider. Any student really wants to buy an assignment at the cheapest price goes to our branded website and has a look and opts our amazing and informative services, you can avail of our convenient online assignment help and samples available on our website for free. You can download it if you want. Are you ready to get 100 out of 100 in your university assessment? We assign the best writer according to the subject for your academic problems and provide support in assignment writing services. Our Customer Care Executives are available 24*7 hours to assist you in the best possible manner. Phone calls and emails are the best methods used by online assignment help providers.

My Assignment Help said...

We at MyCoursehelp.com are leading my assignment help solution provider in Australia. Our online assignment experts understand all your requirements and delivery on-time at affordable price. This is the right place to make an order. Grades guaranteed!
Know more about: My Assignment Help

Online Assignmet Help said...

I am Olivia Crew as an “Academic Writer” in Livewebtutors. The above post has given reliable and genuine information about Assignment Help Australia, New Zealand, USA, UK etc. Looking forward to avail their eminent services.
visit now:- assignment help australia

Maria Garcia said...

Students are often required to prepare their nursing assignments based on the disease or disorder that prevails in the entire community. This is often seen as a challenging process by a majority of students. My Assignment Services provides online community care nursing assignment help, so that students can overcome their assessment writing problems easily. Our team of experts have written over a thousand nursing assignments in the past five years. Each assessment task submitted by us was done exactly per the marking rubric and guidelines provided by the student. With our online assignment help experts, students are able to score the top grades without any worries. We make sure that there is no late submission and the student receives their work right on time. For any case study related tasks, one can also avail of our case study assignment help service.

Online Assignment Help said...

How to write an annotated bibliography? MyAssignmenthelp.com can provide the most accurate annotated bibliography assignment help services in nearly nine different education destinations all around the world.

Sahib Khan said...


Sahib Khan said...

Sandeep Maheshwari
Sandeep Maheshwari Quotes

Lara Gargett said...

Thank you for making me understand about how important is the subject of Project Management for students pursuing relevant courses. However, there are experts dealing in Assignment Provider help by going through different formats of writing. We at Online Assignment Expert aims to provide academic solution in more than 100+ disciplines including tough subjects by our Do My Assignment help at affordable prices. We aim provide exceptional features of on-time assignment delivery, plagiarism check, partial payment, etc. In case you like numbers and interested in knowing our customer ratings, it is available on our website at Online Assignment Expert and meet our hard-working statistics assignment help experts. Feel free to take our contact us anytime.

Chiến SEOCAM said...

খুব সুন্দর নিবন্ধ। একটি সুখী এবং সফল নতুন সপ্তাহ আছে

Phối chó bull pháp

Phối giống chó Corgi

Phối chó Pug

Phối giống cho Pug

Designer said...

Il tempo è gratis ( đá tourmaline ) non ha prezzo. Non puoi possederlo,( vòng đá ruby đỏ ) ma puoi usarlo. Puoi usarlo, ma non puoi tenerlo.( đá spinel ) Una volta perso, non sarai( đá ruby đỏ lục yên ) in grado di recuperarlo.

Bill Caster said...

The company has embedded sustainability into SABIC’s strategy to maximize economic sabic benefits thus maximize value in its value chain (Traversa & Idriss, 2012).

singapore assignment help said...

Assignment help is most selected topic among Essay writing help through this students can easily get assignment help from Singaporeassignmenthelp.com at a low high grade.

Bill Caster said...

The body paragraphs of your rhetorical analysis essay form the mainframe of your essay and must contain all the streams of argument that you wish to put forth following a simple structure.

Stefan Carl said...

Online assignments help are given by StudentsAssignmentHelp.com in the USA. Get the 10% discount on your first order. We provide free revisions and plagiarism support to your assignment.

Chiến SEOCAM said...

ok thank

cửa lưới chống muỗi

cửa lưới chống muỗi Hà Nội

MyAssignmentHelp said...

Thank you for sharing this informative post.MyAssignmenthelp.co.uk is giving assignment help to students.we are already trusted by thousands of students who struggle to write their academic papers and also by those students who simply want assignment editing company to save their time and make life easy.

Olivia Crew said...

Livewebtutors aims at providing the students with a one stop solution for all the academic related issues. The company has Livewebtutors is an online Assignment Help and assignment writing service offering expert assignment help. Hire Australian assignment writing experts.
visit now:- Myob assignment help

Puremelda said...

You attain full value for the money which you put in to access when you seek who can write my research paper, as well as other types of best writing services from our firm which include dissertations, theses, reviews any different writings.

meldaresearch said...

Companies offering affordable custom research papers should help students perform well by delivering papers prior to deadline. Early delivery of essay writing service nursing is very important because it results in good performance of learners.

prashant said...

Sharing information with others is good. I also want to share some good links for students all across the world. There is a team providing Management Assignment Help to all MBA students all across the globe. Also if you are looking for CDR Report Help there are service provider who also include RPL report writing and Ka02 writing services.

Angel Claudia said...

Students who encounter trouble with completing their essay writer services and term paper assistance can contact our company as we have expert writers in the field.

Ethan Lee said...

We all are aware of the fact that it is too tough for anyone to write their, assignment, essay, thesis, dissertation or paper, also, there are lots of students who in search of good marks in their academics, search GOOGLE for Perdisco, Assignment Help, Essay Help, Thesis Help, Paper Help, Research Paper Help or Dissertation Editor, How to Write a Bibliography. But the problem is that these services are not pocket-friendly for every student.
So, What is the Solution?
You can use myassignmenthelp.com Paraphrasing Generator Tool, with the help of this tool, rewriting an article, essay or assignment is a work of just a few clicks, Also, we know the importance of Plagiarism Free work, that's why we developed our online paraphrasing tool in such a way that their will be no chance of plagiarism.

Ideal Assignment Help said...

A very high level post with a knowledgeable information .thanks you for giving me such a nice information. If you need any college level Assignment Help at reliable quality with better work. Kindly visit Ideal assignment help.