A Prayer

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Here I am, my God.
Were you looking for me?
Do you need something?
My most precious possession was stolen from me
and I have nothing left to give, except....
My wounded soul is still bleeding
and my heart just can't stop grieving
the child I lost so long ago.
So I have no good deeds to offer you today,
but I ask you, Lord, who sacrificed your life for me,
to let me go back in time,
so I can offer you my innocence before they snatched it away
so I can give you my wounds,
the tears I cried then and
the tears I still weep.
I offer you my loneliness as a child,
as an adolescent and as an adult.
I offer you my inconsistencies and weaknesses,
my anxiety,
the feeling of vulnerability and inadequacy
that have long been my close companions.
This is all I can give you now.
I ask you only this one thing Lord: Heal me!
Remove the lead from my heart,
and the desperation,
and in their place give me the joy of knowing you love me,
and that you always have.
Tell me you were there, that you were holding my hand
and that you were crying with me.
Tell me that you read every word I've written
and the ones I haven't had the courage to express,
that are still locked away in my heart!
Most of all, give me the strength to love myself,
to help me break the chains that tie me down,
so that I may become ME
and that I may come to know and love you more.
by: Maria Pia De Simone

"God isn't looking for people who have their act together, but people
who know their act is over." Mickey Robinson

Laminin ~ The "Miracle" Protein

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_e4zgJXPpI4 ~ An awesome Revelation.

(You can "click" on the title of this post above to be directly linked to this awesome 8 minute video about a protein in our bodies that "holds" everything together).

I know I need "held" together and am so thankful for miracles that happen every day.

"All things are HELD TOGETHER in Him ~ Surely He bore our griefs and carried our sorrows, and by His stripes, we are HEALED". Isaiah 53

"Living Apart"

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"Living Apart"
by ThankfulPeach

They say I'll be happy
They say I'll grow...
Give me up if you love me...
"Let me go"

But what can we do
When we find they're wrong?
My hurting soul
Must write this song

That part that grieves
The numbing loss....
WAKE UP and feel -
Don't stay "a rock"

It hurts to lose
My first mother....
I won't pretend -
Though I had another

And so I search -
Looking for you...
As part of me left
The day I knew...

I wasn't going home
With my first mother

Now looking in the mirror
So many years past....I see you in me
And find myself....
At last.

by Peach

The "Primal" Wound ~ "Here I Lay"

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"Here I Lay"

 

Alone in the nursery I lay

Cries ring out like radar

Searching, searching, searching

In circles around my bed they reach

Striving to find the woman I know

Her breath, her hair, her touch

No where.

Alone in the nursery I lay

The ceiling so far away

Arms flinging, hoping to find

Nothing but emptiness I feel

Where is she? Why isn't she here?

I am lost and alone. I cannot feel.

The cries stop. There is no use

She is long gone

She or me? I do not know

Here I lay in the nursery alone.

 

by Peach

(Below is an excellent explanation an adoptee author/therapist gave regarding the "Primal Wound") ~

"What you describe is the narcissistic wound. Before the age of 5

children tend to regard all events as being caused by them or happening

because of them. So when we are taken from our birth mothers we think it's

our fault.

This is an irrational belief but because it's traumatic and overwhelms the child's ability to cope it becomes hard wired into the brain. A child's brain is sensitve to events because of the hormones and explosion of brain cells primed to react to an

event. The more powerfull the event the stronger the brain reacts to it.

Now let me insert a theory by Silvan Tomkins; memories are not linear

they are organized in accordance with the amount of affect(feeling)created by

the event. That means memories dont fade with time when they are part of

an intense emotional event like separation. That memory will be as

strong 50 years later as it is the moment it happened.

In our case this affective event manifests as the primal wound and it

doesn't go away on its own. It creates a sense of social isolation, feeling lost,

dissconnectedness, loneliness in the presence of others, emptiness, and

the big affect that you are experiencing shame. We believe that since we

are responsible for our own mother's experience of relinquishment that we are not

worthy, hence the shame. Its a perfectly normal reaction. It is created

and recorded in our minds before we can think and then when we grow up

and can think logically, we ask "what is this I feel and why do I feel it?"

--

Children Are A Blessing

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"Children Are a Blessing"

Children are a blessing sent from God above
For us to care and nurture and most of all to love.
God calls us to be parents and gives us all the tools
And when we feel like giving up, our strength He will renew.
Children are a gift from God that He so freely lends
To make it through the childhood years, on Him we must depend.
He must have a presence, you see it must take three
The parents, child and Christ at the center to be a family.
From childhood days to a child full grown
Their joys and hurts are a parent's own.
Times of joy and laughter and those times of tears
The times spent raising a child are surely the best of years.
There comes that time in life when a child will leave the nest
We must send them off with love and a prayer and leave to God the rest.
We have shared the Word of God, we've taught them right from wrong
Now it's time to let them go and let them write their song.
The faith instilled, the examples lived, and the lessons taught
All gifts that we've given our child, which will never be forgotten.


If a child lives with criticism, he learns to condemn. If a child lives with hostility, he learns to fight. If a child lives with ridicule, he learns to be shy. If a child learns to feel shame, he learns to feel guilty. If a child lives with tolerance, he learns to be patient. If a child lives with encouragement he learns confidence If a child lives with praise, he learns to appreciate. If a child lives with fairness, he learns justice. If a child lives with security, he learns to have faith. If a child lives with approval, he learns to like himself. If a child lives with acceptance and friendship, he learns to find love in the world.