July 14, 2007

~ Happy Surprises ~

Home Sweet Home
© Photographer: One8edegre | Agency: Dreamstime.com
Wow ~ Amazing ~ Wonderful ~ Speechless ~ Beautiful Familiarity ~ Home

These are just some words to TRY to describe the feelings when I'm around my First Family.

I got the NICEST surprise this morning ~

My First Dad called and wanted to talk ~ then we decided "impromptu" to meet at the park and let Andrew (my son) play for awhile. We hadn't seen "Papa" (as Andrew calls him) for a few weeks, so it was great.

We enjoyed "playing" so much - swinging, climbing, going down the slides, everything. "Papa" is alot of fun, and Andrew really enjoyed himself. Then we stopped by Carl's Jr. for a hamburger and fries, and played some more in the indoor playground.

I know this sounds so "normal" and nothing to really be excited about ~ but to an adoptee ~ this is huge. Just being a "normal" family, having those "normal" conversations, seeing how similar and "right" everything is when we are together. It is completely amazing. So amazing I may not be able to sleep tonight! The "sponteniety" of getting together to have this "normal" family time is a big step for us. We usually have to "plan" these things.

It was so much fun watching my son and his grandfather play little silly games together. It is sometimes hard to wrap my head around the whole picture. I missed having him as I grew up. I had loving people around me, who I called "family" and who I loved. But until I met (and got to know) my First Family as an adult, I couldn't distinguish the difference. It took YEARS for me to unravel and express some of the pain it brought up. Only THEN could I feel and embrace the "rightness", the feeling of "home", the similarities and likenessness - which helped me incorporate my own identity SO much better. I felt "real".
And to be honest, "real" didn't come at the beginning of my "reunion". It came after years of "fog". Then came the pain. Then came the "real". It still feels like Twilight Zone "real" sometimes, but oh my Goodness, the JOY of restoration and family moments are amazing.

Adoptees grow up not even being able to comprehend the concept of being connected to someone by "blood". It is like a complete foreign country and language to us. So even after reunion, it feels like "strangers" because we are actually "strangers" to ourselves, and don't realize it. If we push through the reunion, the pain it brings up, and allow ourselves to EMBRACE the "blood connections", the "blood identity" we never knew existed ~ THEN the true rewards come.

Thank you, Jesus, for letting me experience this. Thank you, for restoration.

1 comment:

Attila The Mom said...

It IS huge!

My mother and I had our 5-year anniversary earlier in March. I don't blog about adoption that much, but I certainly did about that!

Finding her changed nothing (still have to pick up smelly socks and dog poo in my real life), but it changed EVERYTHING, if you KWIM.

So very happy for you that your reunion is going well!