October 24, 2009
Diary of WHAT?
© Photographer: Camptown | Agency: Dreamstime.com
Wow. I just watched an episode of WE t.v.'s reality show called "Adoption Diary's" tonight, (ironically, on right after "The Locator") and am sitting here trying to wrap my mind around exactly what it was we witnessed. It seems so obvious. "Open adoption" could be coined "open abduction" if this is how it's done.
I can safely say my family wasn't entertained by this suspense-thriller, fraught with fierce competition ("Dear Birthmother" aka 'give me your baby' profiles), hand-wringing nerves (will she change her mind?) and downright desperation as one woman exploited another out of her very flesh and blood.
A helpless human was legally transferred within hours of birth, right in a hospital room. Fresh meat, before his own mother had a chance to stop bleeding or God-forbid recover from delivery to bond with her baby.
Relinquishment papers pushed before her hurriedly, yet riding on the back of weeks spent "befriending" and "mentoring" this more than capable, pregnant mother. The obvious unspoken intent of this "relationship" to cement her feelings of obligation to "follow through with the plan", even while experiencing questioning grief.
Where is the ethical principle of "non-directive" counseling in adoption? No where. It is undoubtedly pounded into the breeders head (aka, one-sided "options counseling") that she is making the "unselfish choice" for her baby, the voiceless third-party in this contract, who certainly can't speak for himself.
And in exchange for trusting her own motherhood, she is lauded a "hero" with the power to "build a family" for those who "can't thank her enough." At least until the papers are signed, that is. As she tearfully walks away broken-hearted, empty-armed. Except for that trinket of appreciation and possibly the promise of a few token pictures. If she is lucky, maybe even a visit or two. At least until her child gets old enough to start asking those pesky, uncomfortable questions.
What a costly exchange. How many thousands is paid for this precious commodity, who she has been led to believe will be "better off" without her. A baby (human-being) with no rights. No voice. A forever-child in the eyes of the law. Birth certificate falsified (amended). Identity "sealed". Heart torn. Sold.
"Open adoption" is not protected by law and can become "closed" at any time. Mothers are exploited from beginning to end, with no separate legal representation or counseling - except through the very agencies whose business it is to procure babies for paying customers. Blatant, unethical conflict-of-interest abounds.
This emotion-laden drama of legalized child-trafficking and state-sanctioned identity theft unfolded right before our eyes. But I guess the sappy lullaby background music is supposed to make it right? Society at its best.