It's hard to adequately verbalize the brokenness of an adoptee heart...our first reality...is on a broken road. How can we breathe? We just learn. Because we have to.
I cannot even begin to know what it must feel like to be adopted. However, I've adopted 4 children. I love them beyond measure and will do anything for them. They each are grieving uniquly but it is a part of who they are. I haven't read a lot on your blog but I'm wondering if you feel adoption is a horrible thing? Do you really feel children are better off languishing in institutions? At least my kids have a chance and a home and won't be turned out to the street when they turn 16 without an education or skills to survive. I know there are horrible adoption situations but there are also horrible situations where parents choose to parent and shouldn't. I have empathy for adoptees who can't come to terms with their adoption/abandonment/or whatever happened. In our case, our children were the needy ones needing parents, not the other way around. Feel free to respond. I got to you because you left a comment on my blog regarding Reece's Rainbow and the little boy who was killed by his adoptive mother. This is NOT the norm and clearly the woman is ill. Not justifiable on any level but RR is not to blame!
Dear Sarah, Thank you for commenting. What would be the confirmation that an adoptee has "come to terms with their abandonment/adoption"? I guess I need to know that answer before I can answer your question. I suspect that you would think that an adoptee has "come to terms" if they are silent on adoption issues, or only have glowing things to say about every aspect of adoption? Actually, about 20 yrs ago I would have fit that definition, but I actually was farther than ever from "coming to terms" with my own adoptive status. I'm much closer today, after allowing the hidden grief to surface and not being too scared of rejection (or comments like yours) to find my identity, true self, feelings, and healing. That road isn't always pretty, but it is real.
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3 comments:
I cannot even begin to know what it must feel like to be adopted. However, I've adopted 4 children. I love them beyond measure and will do anything for them. They each are grieving uniquly but it is a part of who they are. I haven't read a lot on your blog but I'm wondering if you feel adoption is a horrible thing? Do you really feel children are better off languishing in institutions? At least my kids have a chance and a home and won't be turned out to the street when they turn 16 without an education or skills to survive. I know there are horrible adoption situations but there are also horrible situations where parents choose to parent and shouldn't. I have empathy for adoptees who can't come to terms with their adoption/abandonment/or whatever happened. In our case, our children were the needy ones needing parents, not the other way around. Feel free to respond. I got to you because you left a comment on my blog regarding Reece's Rainbow and the little boy who was killed by his adoptive mother. This is NOT the norm and clearly the woman is ill. Not justifiable on any level but RR is not to blame!
Dear Sarah,
Thank you for commenting. What would be the confirmation that an adoptee has "come to terms with their abandonment/adoption"? I guess I need to know that answer before I can answer your question. I suspect that you would think that an adoptee has "come to terms" if they are silent on adoption issues, or only have glowing things to say about every aspect of adoption? Actually, about 20 yrs ago I would have fit that definition, but I actually was farther than ever from "coming to terms" with my own adoptive status. I'm much closer today, after allowing the hidden grief to surface and not being too scared of rejection (or comments like yours) to find my identity, true self, feelings, and healing. That road isn't always pretty, but it is real.
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