September 11, 2008

A Day of Remembrance

I Am Not Dead

Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow;
I am diamond glints of snow;
I am the sunlight on ripened grain;
I am the gentle autumn's rain.
When you awaken in the morning's hush;
I am the swift uplifting rush of quiet birds encircled flight.
I am the soft star that shines at night.
Do not stand at my grave and weep;
I am not there, I do not sleep.
Author Unknown


In Memory

Today (9/11) is not only a day of "Remembrance & Honor" in America for so many innocent victims who lost their lives in NYC, it is also a day of remembrance for me,
as today would have been my nMother's 61st Birthday. How can I long for and
miss a Mother who I never met? She passed away at the age of 32, of breast cancer, while also searching for me. For several years after finding her family and being told of her death, I walked around in a strange numbness. Although not able to "feel" grief at the time, I immediately weeped uncontrollably, without even realizing the deep impact this news and my nMother made in my life. I watched, prayed & cried, just a few short years later, as my adoptive Mother battled the same disease that had taken my nMother's life.

Finally, after allowing myself to "unthaw" emotionally and feel the heart-gripping pain of my nMother's death and loss, I was able to embrace that part of myself that I had rejected at the same time I emotionally rejected the news of her death. That part that needed to greive and live again, by embracing who my mMother was, and how I could accept the gifts she had given me and carry in my heart always. We both love animals, the color purple, writing, and cheering for the underdog. But it goes so much deeper than that. She will always be a part of me... Happy Birthday, Norma. I love you.

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