February 22, 2008

"Grateful Adoptees"

© Photographer: Gbp | Agency: Dreamstime.com
Just to clarify about the term "grateful adoptee" ~ Here is an exerpt
from the essay posted below defining this term in regards to how the adoption
professionals have termed it. Many times adoptees who openly speak out about open records and life-long implications of adoption experience are termed "angry" or "bitter" adoptees. This couldn't be farther from the truth. Unfortunately, it is another way adoption "professionals" who make their living by brokering adoptions have "coined" the term to protect their personal interests.

...the "good" adoptee (grateful adoptee) is one who does not question

adoptive ties and "… is sensitive to his [adoptive] parents'

needs to make believe he wasn't adopted" (Lifton,

1979, p. 54). Under this definition, "good" adoptees

are grateful for having been saved from orphanhood

and may believe that they do not have the right to feel

dissatisfied in any way simply because they are alive

and have been adopted by people who love them

(Lifton, 1979). Unrestrained curiosity about one's

biological background is not in keeping with the

image of the "good" adoptee. The "bad" adoptee (or "bitter, angry

adoptee"), in contrast, openly communicates his/her interest in

genealogical information. Lifton (1979) argues that

adoptive parents often experience this curiosity as a

betrayal or rejection, due to their unresolved infertility


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